Frey waved his hand and the door to the cabin opened. Birds chirped outside and the fireplaces warm crackles made him forget for a moment why he was here. He didn’t know why he was doing this. Well, maybe he did. There were answers he needed and he had heard that this was the best way to get them. He had to know.

 

He strode into the cabin and went to his office style chair, snapping his fingers another chair appeared. He sat, steepled his hands and focused on his breathing so his real magic didn’t spiral out of control.

 

The clock on the fireplace ticked several times and he waved his hand at it dismissively, silencing it. Was this a mistake? No, he had to figure this out. She was the best at what she did—all the reviews raved about how helpful she was for this. His hopes rested in her helping him, he wanted to move forward or move on—something. He had to resolve his conflict about Elslin. About his own life purpose.

 

His blue eyes scanned the room. It looked warm and cozy, but not sweltering. Sounds were outside, the door of the cabin hanging open. The smell of lavender filled the room with the firewood of the fireplace.

 

He brought a hand uneasily up to his hair and pushed his short blond hair down. He was meticulous about his appearance—smoothing the front of his suit. Now, he had to wait. Though silent, he could feel the clock ticking and it unnerved him.

 

Kelly approached the cabin. It was quite quaint, but she could already feel Frey's tension from inside the place. She shook her head with a small smile, came to the door and knocked. A moment later, the door opened, revealing Frey. She greeted him with a smile. "Frey? Hi, I'm Kelly. I believe you're expecting me. How are you doing today?"

 

“As well as can be expected. Please come in, sit, I have a chair for you.” He stepped outside of the way and gestured to the office chair across from his. “Can I get you something to eat or drink?” Purple magic swirled around him briefly. “You will have to excuse me, my nerves are shot.”

 

Kelly smiled, unconcerned about the display of magic. "No worries at all. Magic is quite ordinary for me, and I'm good, thank you. No need to get me anything." She took a seat. "So, is your magic a secret or something? Or are you just nervous about meeting me?" She chuckled, smiling at him.

 

“No, my magic is no secret. It’s just gotten out of hand as of late. I’m on edge. My best friends daughter is going through a rough time and I’m trying to be there for her. She was missing for three years...now we are more then a year and a half from her being gone and...it’s a challenge. My magic reacts to her absence.” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously and sat in his own chair, spinning it around once before facing Kelly.

 

"So you're talking about Elslin, right? What happened that she went missing?" Kelly furrowed her brows.

 

Frey rubbed the back of his neck. “She was kidnapped several years ago out of her parents meadow by her maternal grandfather, though at that time we did not know it was him. We spent three years searching for her and found her quite by accident at Lyestone, the school we are teaching at, as someone else. He had taken her memories and changed her appearance and name, but somehow deep Inside my magic knew we were close to her. How close wasn’t clear until last year. I took her to a dance and after the dance there was issues and she was really depressed and we found a trace on her that could pull her back to his palace. We helped her through that not knowing she was their daughter and then things went to almost normal. Then she disappeared and at first we thought it was the sickness and she was sick but she didn’t return and we found an article about the girl at the palace and somehow she had gotten roped in with someone else’s magic to be back there with him.” He paused and drew in a shaky breath. "It’s been a rough transition for everyone. But she comes to me more often. Her parents can be overbearing...”

 

Kelly nodded. "Wow, that sounds troubling indeed. I'm glad you are able to be there for her though. She needs a listening ear." Then she leaned forward, pressing her palms together, locking eyes with him. "How are you handling it though? Must be hard on you too."

 

Frey froze. He wasn’t expecting that so soon. “I...” he stopped and sweat beaded down his face. “It is.” He swallowed thickly. “I am not handling it. I bury myself in creature research when I can but...I find it hard to not be present for Elslin. She is my nivena, (a pet name for her based on his favorite creature something small but powerful and rare) she needs my protection...my help.”

 

Kelly nodded. “And it’s more than just that, right?”

 

Frey couldn’t meet Kelly’s gaze. “Yes” he said barely above a whisper

 

“And you feel as if you shouldn’t feel that way?” She raised her brows, sitting back in her seat.

 

“Yes...she is my best friends daughter. Half my age. Yet...she is the only one who I can fruit connect with. I connect with her parents well, but in terms of romance...she’s the first person to set my soul on fire.” He blushed and shook his head. “It sounds like a stupid schoolboy crush. Like I want to play hero of something and be her white knight. Yet I feel like that’s what she needs is a white knight because she has been through so much hell she needs someone to be there for her and to love her despite her brokenness...l know what it’s like to be broken.”

 

Kelly smiled at him. “You’re right. She might need someone like you for sure, after everything she’s been through.” But then her smile faded. “But how does she feel about you? Any idea?”

 

Frey stared hard at the wall behind Kelly. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. “I think...she feels the same way...no I am certain she does. The way she looks at me. The way she says my name...she just..she seems to take joy in my presence which is something I can’t say that everyone else brings her. I just feel wrong. She deserves happiness.”

 

“And you don’t think you would bring her that happiness?” Kelly furrowed her brows.

 

“I don’t know. Maybe...I could bring her happiness.”

 

“Does her face brighten up when she sees you? Does she smile easily in your presence? Does she laugh when she’s with you?”

 

“Yes...” he smiled thinking of the warmth of her smile. “She is everything to me. I just want to be the best man I can be I can be worthy of her love. I want to give her everything possible and show her that someone can love her broken and all and that she is valued and precious and worth loving. I fail often, I’ve yelled, I’ve walked away, but I’m always trying to do better and be better for her.”

 

Kelly smiled softly. “The fact that you are trying is what is important. Everyone fails, but what is most important is getting back up again and trying yet again to succeed, so all you can do is just keep trying.” Then she tilted her head to the side. “Have you spoken with her about this?”

 

“No I don’t know how to. She is going through so much. I want to know her love is genuine.” He ran his hands over his face roughly. “I don’t want to back her into a corner and I don’t want to be hurt either.” He sighed. He summoned a glass and swirled the whiskey around. “Sorry my nerves are too high right now. I promise I’m not an alcoholic.”

 

“It’s all right,” Kelly reassured him. “That’s why I’m here, right? To talk you through it.” She nodded. “You’re in a tricky situation for sure, and it’s understandable that you’re hesitant. You have ever reason to be. And you’re right, you don’t want to back her into a corner, but that would only happen if you are confrontational about it, and I don’t think you would be, would you? You know her situation, probably better than anyone else, so you’d be gentle about it. You’re just worried you’re reading the signs wrong and that she’d reject you though?” Kelly furrowed her brows

 

“Yes. To all of it. I am worried about misreading the signs with her. I love her with my whole heart, my whole being. I don’t want power dynamics to come in. I’m worried what her parents will say and worried what others will say. She is...I don’t want to push her or put her in a situation she doesn’t know how to get out of. I guess I’m most worried about screwing things up.” He sighed and stood, beginning to pace. He wasn’t sure what he should do. “I have no idea what I should do.”

 

"Are you strong enough to be her friend and confidant without anything happening between the two of you?" Kelly asked. She had a reason for asking but needed him to contemplate this question first.

 

He regarded Kelly. Hooking his finger into the belt loop of his slacks. “No...” he stopped and took another swig off his drink. “I mean I can be her friend and confidant...but without it ever...I don’t think I’m strong enough.”

 

"And that is where you true problem lies." She gestured to him. "As long as you don't know the truth of how she feels about you, you can imagine she has feelings for you, so you can continue to be her friend and confidant without an issue because may day it'll work out.However, you're worried you'll put yourself out there and tell her the truth, only for her to possibly reject you, and you know you'll never be able to go back to the way things were because it will always be different, but that frightens you, doesn't it?"

 

“Yes, because I don’t want to lose her entirely. I fear she will reject me entirely. I can’t lose her.” That caused a small cry. “It creates a physical sensation of loss.”

 

"But what if she doesn't reject you?" Kelly spoke with a softened voice. "What if she feels the same way and has just been waiting for you to bring up the topic. She's been through a lot--she's not going to approach that topic at all! So what if she accepts you? Imagine how happy you and she would be." Kelly smiled at this thought before continuing on. "Love is about taking the greatest risk you can ever take. Are you brave enough to take the risk though? Because, if it all works out, the reward is more than you can imagine. Don't you want that?"

 

“Yes I want that more that anything else.” He spoke softly. Imagining for a minute just holding her hand and knowing she was his. “Maybe I need to face this fear. Maybe I need to talk to Jackle and Sabine and tell them I love their daughter. They know already that I would do anything for her.”

 

"Which brings me to my next topic. Jackle is your best friend, correct? And her father? So, how do you think he'll take the fact of you being with his daughter?" Kelly smiled a little because there were so many ways a father could respond, but she focused on Frey to see what he would say.

 

“I don’t know. I think he’ll kick my ass. That’s his babygirl and he is upset that we are spending so much time together as is.”

 

Kelly laughed. "That's fair. Fathers can be very protective of their daughters." Then she became a bit more serious. "But do you think you could stand your ground against him? Reassure him that you only want what's best for his daughter? Can't he see how much you've already helped her?"

 

“Yes. She was so furious with them. She was glad for the revelation.”

 

"So, there you go." Kelly made a small gesture. "It sounds like even if they disapproved of you and her, if she loves you as much as you love her, she's not going to care what her parents think, and they know you will only ever do what is best for her, and they know they can trust you with her, so they'll have to concede," she pointed out. "Of course, all of this is sooo much easier said than done, but you have to be able to accept the results either way. There's a slim possibility Jackle might want to beat you up or that your friendship with him will end. Can you accept that? Because, again, if all works out, the reward is greater. These are the risks you run when dealing with the very early stages of love, but trust me, all of this becomes a lot easier as time goes on."

 

“Thank you...it does help to see it this way. I just feel purposeless with this. I want to show her my love and talk to her, but how?” He say back down.

 

“How? Well, you’ve already been showing her your love by being there for her, listening to her, and helping her through things. That will continue. The difference is, after you express your feelings for her, you two can hug without awkwardness. You can hold hands and even kiss. There won’t be any yearning. You will know you have each other, and that is worth it.” Kelly smiles.

 

“I like the ideas of that. To just be. I want her to be my companion in everything.”

 

“Then you need to be brave and talk to her. Can you do that?” She smiled at him, a little teasingly.

 

“Maybe” he chuckled and swallowed the rest of the whiskey, cringing. “I need to be brave because we will never have peace. My discontent affects her greatly. I feel it in my magic often.”

 

Kelly nodded. "All the more reason not to let your fear hold you back. You need to be ready and willing to accept the slim possibility that she MIGHT reject you. You need to be able to accept that if you're going to face your fear. But, by the way you've talked about her and how it sounds like things are between the two of you, I really don't think you have anything to worry about. But still, best to be ready for anything. You've got this, Frey. I know it's scary--it's life-changing actually, but...it's absolutely necessary for both of you. Can't you see that?"

 

“I can see that. It’s too important to let this moment pass. I can’t hold back much longer otherwise this moment may pass us by. I could lose my chance.”

 

"Exactly. Seize the opportunity. You can do this," Kelly reassured him with a smile. "So, we still have some more time, so you don't need to vanish right now to go talk to her--unless you want to, but was there anything else you'd like to get off your chest maybe? You have a unique opportunity to talk here with me because after today, you'll never see or hear from me again, and not a word of this conversation will be spoken to anyone else, so I'm all ears! Do you have anything that's weighing on you though? You're always there, helping Elslin, but is anyone there to help you?"

 

“No one has been there to catch me while I fall in this. I’ve been alone. Jackle and Sabine have my back through much. However, I don’t think that I can share my troubles with them.”

 

"Then what troubles you?" Kelly reclined back in her seat. "You can talk with me. As I said, after today, you won't see me again. There's something freeing about speaking openly with a stranger you know you will never encounter again."

 

“I feel like I have to carry all the burdens and no one is there to help me with mine. I feel like when I try to do the right thing I am in the wrong.

 

Kelly had to chuckle. "You remind me of someone else I know." But then she became serious once more and focused on him. "Why do you feel the need to carry everyone's burdens?"

 

“Because someone has to. Someone has to be there and be present. So much hurting and if I can change those tides even for a bit it’s worth the pain.” He sighed. “I feel a great need to prove myself because of my own troubled past. Like I need to rise above the family I cane from and show them that I am a worthy person.”

 

"Their burdens are not your burdens to bear." Kelly shook her head. "They were given those burdens for a specific reason that is unknown to you or me and even them, but those burdens are specifically designed for those people to either crush them or help them grow. It depends entirely on them what happens. Yes, you can be there to see them through it and try to ease the load, but in the end, you can't carry it for them. You have your own burden to bear, which no one else can carry for you." Then she tilted her head to the side. "Why do you need to prove yourself? And how often do you need to prove yourself before you've really proven yourself to yourself?"

 

He paused and looked at Kelly thoughtfully. “I never looked at it that way before...I’ve just always felt like as the abused boy that was turned to the service of a king that I have to prove myself because I wasn’t good enough for my family I was a target to abuse and sell the services of. I guess I thought I had healed from those things but yet I carry them still.

 

Kelly nodded. "You will carry them with you all your life as they have impacted you, but you have grown enough to not let them shape you. You have nothing to prove to anyone else. You've already proven yourself worthy. If I were to ask Jackle, Sabine, and Elslin, I know they would say the same thing. But you still do not see yourself as worthy, right?" She raised her brows. "That's because you haven't proven to yourself that you are, and *that* is much more complicated."

 

“I guess so. I don’t know what it will take to prove to myself that I am more then my past.”

 

"You can just be aware of what you are really doing when you think you are trying to prove yourself to someone else. Pause and take a moment and ask yourself why you feel the need to prove yourself to them. Then ask a deeper question as to why you need to prove to yourself that you are worthy in that particular moment. It will likely bring up painful memories that can be hard to deal with though, so you may shun away from them." Then Kelly leaned forward. "What happened to you in the past?"

 

“ I feel a need to prove myself because I was told I wasn’t going to be anything. That I was not worth loving and I deserved to serve as someone toy and then as someone’s servant in a palace. My life was dictated for me until I met Sabine and she opened my eyes to the freedoms we could all she that untethered us from the expectations that others had laid over us.”

He stopped and got a glassy look. “I was abused like Elslin was just not the same level she went through. I’ve seen her memories..:” he shuddered.

 

Kelly nodded. “I’m sorry you had to experience that, but in a way, you can say it made you a stronger person and someone who can relate better to Elslin and help her through everything, so in a way, it was a good thing, but that doesn’t make it right what they did to you.” She shook her head before looking at him once more. “But you are worth more. You are more than just a servant, someone who must carry the burdens of others.” She offered him a smile. “You need to remember that, and I think Elslin will remind you of that, don’t you?”

 

“I think so. I think it’s time for me to go talk to her. Thank you for your help and time today.”

 

Kelly nodded, rising to her feet. "I'm glad you will speak with her. This is an important step for you to take, and I really hope you the very best. You've got this. Thank you for taking the time to speak with me." With that, she headed for the day.